Friday, January 28, 2011

Hundred Acre Janathon - Part three

After catching a Jagular and letting it go, and still looking for a Janathoner, Tigger and Pooh found themselves by the big oak tree by the little path in the furthest corner of the Hundred Acre Wood. And they stopped and looks at the ground in surprise. There were *hundreds* of footprints here, as though lots of Janathoners had been here, dancing. "If we could see a Janathoner dancing, that would be REALLY special" said Tigger.
"Oh yes" said Pooh. "I'd heard that Janathoners liked dancing. It helps them do something when they're not running"

So Tigger and Pooh decided this would be the perfect place to hang the internet and the clogs, and looked around for a branch to hang them from. Tigger looked up at a big, wide bough that would be perfect and had a little shiver. He'd had an uncomfortable moment up a tree that he didn't want to repeat. "Pooh" he said "Maybe we should get some help to hang the clogs up, because it's very high" and he bounced off to find help, leaving Pooh with the things to arrange.

Pooh looked at the internet, and the clogs, and thought a while. "Do we hang the clogs up and drop the net, or hang the net and drop the clogs, or hang both and drop ourselves, or put both on the floor and jump out? Oh bother..." and he shuffled this way and that, moving the clogs here and the net there to see what would look best to a Janathoner. He'd just come to the conclusion that he didn't know when Tigger appeared through the woods, with Piglet, Roo and Kanga in tow.

The five friends soon came up with a plan: They would put the clogs into the net, and fold it in half, and then hang it by the corners from the big wide bough. Then they would sit and wait for the Janathoner, which should be so impressed with the internet and the clogs that it might dance, and they could watch from behind the big oak tree. They were all too small to reach on their own, but with Kanga stood on Pooh's shoulders, and Roo stood on Kanga's, and Piglet stood on Roo's, Piglet could just reach up high enough to tie the ties that Tigger passed up to him.

Pooh, at the bottom of the tower, was feeling a little bit strained, and he tried to keep his mind on being strong and standing up, but with all the weight on him his mind soon wandered. And as his mind wandered, so did his legs, and just as Piglet finished the final tie, his legs wandered a little too far, and they all came down with a BUMP. All except Piglet, who was left hanging from the internet by one little paw. "Help! Help" he shouted, holding on tight to the net. "Climb up, Piglet!" shouted Pooh from the floor, but Piglet's little arms weren't strong enough to pull him up onto the rest of the net. All he could do was cry "Help!" as his hold started to give way.

Just as he thought he could hold on no longer, Piglet felt a paw grab him by the back of the neck and pull him up onto the branch. He sighed, in panicky relief, as a small black furry thing, with bright yellow eyes, rubbed against him and said "mreow?": It was the Jagular, who had mistaken his cry for help for another Jagular getting ready to jump on people (for everyone knows, Jagulars sit in trees, shouting "Help! Help!", and wait for people to walk underneath before they jump on them). Piglet hugged and thanked the Jagular, which looked a little confused, shouted "Help! Help!" and then jumped merrily off the branch onto the pile of Pooh, Kanga and Roo.

Once they had disentangled themselves from the pile, each other, and the happy, purring Jagular, they admired their net, and all went behind the big oak tree to hide and wait for the Janathoner they were sure would come by. And they waited, and they waited, and the sun started to set, and it started to get dark. Pooh hummed a nervous little hum, because he didn't really like the dark, but with all his friends around him he was sure they'd see a Janathoner very soon. And just when his hum was getting very nervous, they heard it...

Through the Hundred Acre Wood it came, a huffing, puffing, tromping noise getting louder as it got closer. There was a bright light, getting brighter and closer as the thing loomed out of the darkness, along the little path, towards the big oak tree. And there, by the big oak tree, puffing and panting, it stopped. And while they couldn't quite make out the shape of it, because of the darkness and the bright light, Pooh and his friends knew what they could see: A Janathoner!

The Janathoner stopped by the tree, and leaned on it, and Tigger gasped. It was dancing! They all peeked out from behing the big trunk as the Janathoner lunged forward on either leg, squatted down low, pulled each leg in turn up towards its bottom, and bent over, trying to touch its own toes. It looked like a very strange dance, and the friends whispered excitedly to each other.
"Why is it dancing, Pooh?" asked Roo.
"I don't know, Roo" said the bear.
"Maybe it's practicing for something." said Tigger
"Maybe it just likes dancing" said Piglet
They all thought this was very likely, and they watched carefully to see what other dances it would do, but the Janathoner stopped, shook each leg in turn, took a deep breath, then turned to set off once more along the path, right towards the bough to where the internet and the clogs were hanging.

There was a loud CLUNK as the tall Janathoner's head connected with the clogs, wrapped in the net, hanging from the bough, and it sat down very heavily on the little path. The friends behind the tree gasped as they saw it rub its forehead and say "Ow!". But Pooh Bear heard something in that "Ow!" that the others missed, and he padded out to the sitting Janathoner. The others followed him cautiously, and too late they realised that the shape with the light was someone they all knew very well!

Christopher Robin sat on the path, rubbing his head, as his little friends approached. He was dressed in shorts, a vest and his plimsolls, and had towelling bands on his wrists and forehead, and he was puffing and panting. "Pooh? What are you doing here?" he said, as he saw them in the corner of his headlamp beam.
"We're trying to catch a Janathoner! Would you like to help us?" giggled Tigger, bouncing forward in the gloom. Christopher Robin looked at Pooh, and the bear nodded. "We are. We've got an internet and some clogs, and we want an Janathoner to come this way"

"You silly Pooh!" laughed Christopher Robin "I AM a Janathoner! I've run one lap of the Hundred Acre Wood every day since January the first, and I've written about every single one on my blog! I think I might win, I'm sure no-one's run further than me."

Pooh and his friends stared, and Christopher Robin giggled and stood up. "If I'm going to win, I've got to finish my Janathon run for tonight. If you all come along with me, you might even get a medal" So Christopher Robin and Pooh and Piglet and Kanga and Roo and Tigger all jogged off down the little path, and right around the edge of the Hundred Acre Wood, and then went home for a cup of tea, and some medals, and to write about their adventure on Christopher Robin's blog.

      THE END 

(The Author would like to thank and apologise to A.A. Milne for borrowing his characters temporarily. If anyone would care to illustrate this story in the original pencil-sketch style (not the Disney variant, please!), I'll happily republish this with pictures)


maggiee said...

That was brilliant! I really enjoyed the whole of it from part 1 to part 3... I very much like the fact that they joined in with his run... I could do with them keeping me going for the last few days! Thanks for making me smile! :-)

Gary Vallance said...

You're a sick, sick man Armer. Btw, 2001milesJules bagged a trig yesterday - the movement gathers pace.

Anonymous said...

Hurrah! They caught their Janathoner! Wonderful.

Anonymous said...

I loved it - I should've guessed it would be CR - durr. Thank you!

geoffarmer said...

Very good! Don't forget to post credit to A.A.Milne!