Lost in Space

Well, this is supposed to be a diary so I'll talk like it is.

Life, eh?

Life at the moment consists of the following: cooking, cleaning, eating, sleeping (although not very much), training and worrying. There may also be the the odd spell of drinking and some kissing involved.

It's the training that's worrying me. I always used to just 'go out on my bike'. Now I 'train'. I don't consciously push myself harder when I ride/run/paddle, but I notice myself sometimes attacking that hill just a bit harder, sprinting faster for that ball, etc etc ad nauseaum..

Why? I have no personal motivation, however, I do have a big fear of letting the team down. Always have. that's why I pushed myself at rugby, at kayak polo, and why I love adventure racing: I get to do all the sports I love for recreation, and I get to push myself for other people's sakes.

Heb Challenge is going to be the longest race, both in duration and distance, that I have competed in. I'll be biking, running and kayaking. Running is the weakest of my disciplines, so I'm training a bit harder for that. However, I'm also putting in some hard bike loops every week - not having a car forces me to train. I like this.

We also have the Pen-y-Ghent race coming up - 5 mile fell race, so we'll see exactly what stage of training I'm up to before the Heb.
The kayaking worries me a bit. I'm fine in a kayak, but I'm used to whitewater, not big expanses of open sea. You can avoid rocks, you can't avoid waves...

Anyway. That's all forn the philosophy of the over-tired. I'll be back sometime.

Song lyric for today:
"You can't stop me, I'm close enough to kiss the sky"
Guano Apes - You Can't Stop Me

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